Wickham's Law starring Martin Wickham & The Big Bossman
Memphis Wrestling - 17/4/04
It is utter Wickham’s Law that a few months after doing this review and
feeling all special about downloading episodes of Memphis Wrestling circa 2004
from Lawler’s website, that Memphis Wrestling circa 2004 starts airing
on TWC. That said, this episode at least happened two months before the TWC
run started. This show was hyping a big show for the Mid-South Coliseum on the
23rd, and the preamble of the show saw presenter Cory Macklin in a neck brace
after taking a piledriver from Jimmy Hart’s Money Inc faction. Jerry Lawler
was pissed, and the main event for the 23rd was set as Lawler and Road Warrior
Animal vs. Money Inc.
Doug Gilbert vs. Jayson Reign (?)
With Hart suspended for his actions last week, Gilbert is alone, but provokes
Bill Dundee regardless (I’m sure mentioning the names of all these guys
is convincing a bunch of you to get downloading - post TWC edit, maybe not now
then…), gets in the ring and has a match that makes the average WCW squash
look like Flair/Steamboat by comparison. Reign is out of there inside 40 seconds
or so after a piledriver, then Dundee hits the ring to go for Gilbert.
One interview in that Aussie/Scottish/Southern accent of his, and it looks like Gilbert vs. Dundee is gonna be a lumberjack match, with 20 fans getting straps from Dundee. Dundee is threatening to “whoop the tar of him”, and I wanna see it happen. More ads, then the whole Slam Jam card is run-down. I love it that Maven gets the tag line WWE Superstar put in double quotes. I envision Cory giving it the two fingers on each hand when he said it as well. His opponent is Brian Christopher, who, if reports are correct, was about as popular in the Memphis locker rooms as bubonic plague. An interview with Money Inc proves why they need Jimmy Hart. Whoever they are, they can’t talk for shit. They also appear to have half-inched two of Lawler’s title belts, while Lawler has one of Hart’s jackets. It’s winner-takes-all at the Coliseum, and Hart is threatening to lob the belts in the Mississippi river once his boys win the match.
Koko B. Ware looks fucking awesome. Fat, bald and bitter as Boddington’s, he don’t give a fuck about flapping his arms like a jackass anymore, he just wants to kick ass. Even if he is dressed like Ruckus. He has an I Quit match coming up, and he plans on doing a demonstration of one today. His opponent is more than your average jobber.
Koko B. Ware vs. Tracey Smothers
I bet Cory calling Tracey a young man got some laughs in the IWA Mid-South office.
No profanity filled interviews, no threats of double-ultra-mega-mass-homicide,
just get in and ‘rassle. A bald man claiming hair-pulling always rules
in my book. The two assemble some decent stuff, Koko starts choking Tracey with
a chain, then drops him with an absolutely sickening brain buster. Koko looks
for the chain again, can’t get it, so elects to choke with his hands instead.
Kevin White runs in to chase off Koko, as Smothers gets the DQ victory. White
does a baby face promo hyping an I Quit match for the Slam Jam show. He won’t
say I Quit apparently. Pity he stumbled his words big-time to get the point
across. More ads, as Jerry Lawler really proves he is on the side of EVIL as
he shills for a money-lending company. Shylock wears a crown folks.
More promos and hype for the big show. Derrick King can talk. Kid Kash ain’t that great. Derrick Doe is not going to catch on as a term to garner heel heat. King Mabel comes out. Dressed in the Viscera garb. And with the Southern Heavyweight Title. Rodney Mack starts going on about lunches and bunches, with the OVW logo in the background. Interview over and two guys try to jump Mabel. It is only then I notice how fucking low the step up is to the ring. That must be one low fucking ceiling that studio is sporting.
King Mabel vs. The Sexy Assassins
Mabel appears to be wearing a top-half that is Viscera, then dug out a pair
of baggy pants on the realisation he was using the Mabel name. Both Assassins
die horribly and quickly, the guy in purple tights and mask gets pinned with
a Baldo Bomb after the champ knocked his mate in red around for a bit. The more
I listen to him, the more I am convinced that Cory Macklin is a cross between
Lance Russell and Bully from Bullseye. IIINNNNN OONNNNNEEE!!!!!!
Brian Christopher doesn’t want to be referred to as a young man. Fair enough, you’re an arrogant, overrated, druggie, cunt of a man, who has relied on his father’s connections to get him anywhere. Sound OK?
Brian Christopher vs. Johnny Dotson
Now, reading some WO’s recently, I heard of a bust-up between these two
at a taping. Assuming this is it, Christopher didn’t like getting his
nose busted up by Dotson. Johnny got a lot of offense in for a job-boy, Christopher
stooged for a bit, Dotson busted Brian’s nose somewhere between doing
a bunch of cartwheel based offense, horribly telegraphed the second cartwheel,
a boot, an attempted bodyslam is escaped, and a Dotson roll-up is countered,
Christopher holding the tights to get the win. I’d like to have seen a
tape of what went on backstage afterwards, but I can’t imagine Jerry wanting
footage of his son being an immature shit-for-brains capped on his website.
Speaking of Jerry, he turns up with Sgt Slaughter, who was unhappy at the way Jimmy Hart ‘got his autograph on a jacket’ at WMXX (the Hall of Fame stuff). For whatever reason, I thought Slaughter would mention something about Hart claiming he was collecting autographs to raise money for a ill child, and whaadayaknow? Slaughter calling Jimmy a maggot rules. I’d give my right arm to be able to call someone a maggot in that voice of Slaughter’s. Mind you, with my throat and voice as fucked as they are now (damn hay-fever) I could probably do that voice now. My arm is safe.
A midget is getting interviewed, then Money Inc and Jimmy Hart (supposedly banned for fucking up Macklin last week) show up and beat up a bunch of people. The midget gets a haircut, a couple of fans get attacked, Macklin starts hollering like the head teacher in that OutKast video (NO SPEAKERBOXXES!!!! AND CERTAINLY NO LOVE BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!!), and that elderly Mr Coffey guy gets manhandled out into the car park. Then Hart and Inc start shouting at everyone to get out. When we return from break they are doing just that, and everyone is out, including Macklin and the co-commentator. The set gets dismantled, Macklin and Teigland do outside broadcasting, and Hart goes nuts about being ripped-off. This angle looks like it seriously rules. It is still real in fucking Memphis folks. Just a pity they only seem to cap a show every three weeks (August 2004 note - Not Any More!). I want to see that Slam Jam show now.
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Zero-One TV 8/4/04
The opening sequence to this show is all about the main event. Naoya Ogawa meets
Riki Choshu for one of the first times since 2001, and they both want to kill
each other before the bell even rings. It looks promising, but there is what
looks like a decent card underneath. Yet another puro company with sucky big
cards, but the regular stuff has some good stuff going for it…
Jun Kasai vs. Josh Daniels
Americans wrestling in Japan seem to fall into two distinct categories. Either
they no-sell thinking it will get them over, or they do a low-rent impersonation
of Chris Benoit. Thankfully, Josh falls somewhat into group two. The result
is a fair-to-middling opening affair, Kasai does a bit of comedy, Josh is technically
sound, and neither does anything horrible, neither do they do anything particularly
memorable. Kasai eventually gets the win with what is normally known as the
Pearl Harbour Splash, but seems to be listed on websites as He Likes SAPPORO
BREWERIES. I prefer the second name.
The Predator/Low Ki vs. Steve Corino/Naohiro Hoshikawa
The way Predator was stumbling around with a chain in the crowd a la Bruiser
Brody, you would think he had been sampling the wares of some of them SAPPORO
BREWERIES. He is accompanied by the worst instrumental of Immigrant Song ever.
It sounds like it was covered by Jazz Club on The Fast Show. And it ain’t
‘NICE’. Hoshikawa has to be one of the most underrated wrestlers
in Japan right now, here is pretty fucking crisp throughout, even when working
with Predator. Meanwhile, Steve Corino has developed a new routine in Japan.
Remember Damian in the 1995 Super J? Corino does a Z1 2004 version, as he impersonates
Hashimoto (DDT), Ogawa (STO, complete with “HUSTLE! HUSTLE!), Omori (Axe
Bomber), Choshu (Lariat) and Satoshi Kojima (rip the armpad before the lariat)
in rapid succession. Low Ki also proves he has somewhat of a sense of humour,
as he and Predator have issues over double-teams, what with them always ending
up with Ki getting hurt as he hurts his opponent due to Predator lifting him
so high and dropping him so fast. That aside, Ki has fallen away from his best
form 18 months or so back, and Hoshikawa smokes him with ease here. A fun little
match with the varying styles, but only one person is going down here, and sure
enough, Hosh gets caught with a Predator Argentine backbreaker, and is forced
to tap out.
WORLD 1 Junior Title
Wataru Sakata vs. Homicide
Zero-One have put over that Homicide was Low-Ki’s trainer, and with Sakata
having choked out Ki to claim the UPW/Z1/NWA Junior title (breaking his jaw
in the process with a knee kick) and merged it into the WORLD 1 title, Homicide
wants to gain revenge by taking the unified title back from Sakata.
Homicide finds out fast he can’t go with a shoot guy like Sakata on the mat, despite his best efforts, so decides to take it outside, choking him with cables and whipping him into barriers, then almost overshooting a somersault tope through the middle rope. Having got somewhat of an advantage, Homi brings it back into the ring to work over Sakata’s hurt knee. A “Wooooooo!!” proceeding a figure-four gets absolutely no response from the Sapporo public, and attempts from Homicide to rally the crowd behind Sakata don’t work, presumably because few of them understand English. With the crowd not into proceedings, the two trundle along to the finish, Sakata eventually able to get the better of Homicide to pin him with a Dragon Suplex hold. Not a completely horrible match, but nothing particularly memorable either.
NWA Intercontinental Tag Titles
Shiro Koshinaka/Takao Omori vs. Kohei Sato/Hirotaka Yokoi
Hirotaka Yokoi IS Mateja Kezman. Now that I’ve got the Chelsea reference
out of the way, this match was pretty decent as well. Through no fault of his
own, Kohei Sato will now be looked upon as a poor man’s Shinsuke Nakamura,
due to similarities in style and look, and despite Sato debuting first. Yokoi
isn’t the greatest pro wrestler around, but he tries, and with two experienced
guys in, he doesn’t look as bad as I’ve seen him. Koshinaka breaks
out the nose work, grabbing both members of ROWDY by the hooter and punching
them in the face, and naturally, the hip attacks, to a decent reception. This
being the first Omori match I’ve seen in two years, I am pleasantly reminded
of the guys talent, despite being a bit lumbering at times, he brings the hurty
Axe Bombers, and it prepared to bump for his opponents as well.
Sato is the senior on his team, which doesn’t say much, as after getting Yokoi out of there, he has to struggle with the champions experience as well. A game fight, he gets a near fall on Omori with a German suplex, but as Koshinaka keeps Yokoi from getting in to help his partner, Omori is able to take over, before finally getting the win with two vicious Axe Bombers. A very good match, probably the best I’ve seen from all four guys.
Masato Tanaka/Tetsuhiro Kuroda/Yoshihito Sasaki vs. Shinjiro
Otani/Ikuto Hidaka/Takashi Uwano
Otani and Tanaka have broken up, and quite violently at that. Tanaka has aligned
with ex FMW wrestlers, while Otani has raised an army as well to counter the
hardcore threat to Zero-One. The result on this show is a great one, perhaps
best described as a heavyweight version of a Toryumon/Dragon Gate multi-man
tag sprint. Tanaka and Otani demonstrate just how awesome the blow-off to their
feud could be in their exchanges, Kuroda was pretty darn solid, as was Hidaka
(who is finally getting a defined role in a major promotion). Uwano and Sasaki
also show a hell of a lot of promise, Sasaki being impressive as the fired-up
punk who has finally remembered his roots, and Uwano being able to work great
exchanges with practically everyone. It’s good that he can as well, because
he absorbs most of the punishment on his side. Getting smashed in the knee with
a broken piece of table for starters. Despite this, he fights like a motherfucker
all the way through, giving as much as he gets, and getting Otani and Hidaka
in where possible. Team FMW are determined though, and win through in a brilliant
final straight, Uwano getting both barrels from all three of his foes, but still
refusing to give in easily, before Kuroda finishes him once and for all with
a lariat.
Pretty much the match of the night, successfully showing the ability of all six men in the ring, and producing the fire and intensity a decent feud needs. Otani and Tanaka were great as a tag team, but something tells me their split apart will produce some stuff even more greatness. A reason to watch Zero-One if nothing else.
Shinya Hashimoto/Naoya Ogawa/Tatsuhito Takaiwa vs. Riki
Choshu/Yoshiaki Fujiwara/Tomohiro Ishii
After the greatness of the semi-main, this has a lot to follow, and looks promising
initially as Choshu and Ogawa have managed to channel the hatred into a feud,
which hopefully result in some hateful violent fun, a la the Otani/Tanaka feud
from earlier. Shinya Hashimoto should consider joining the UN as a mediator.
Takaiwa and Ishii bring the junior clubbing at the start of the match, and an
ass-load of stupid no-selling with it. Hashimoto can’t do a whole lot
with his knackered shoulder, Fujiwara can’t do a whole lot full stop,
and Choshu and Ogawa are holding back. A whole load of nothing happens, and
Choshu manages to take one of the worst bumps ever when absorbing the Ogawa/Hashimoto
STO/Leg-sweep combo. He is then “topped” by Fujiwara, who is in
absolutely no condition to be taking the impact of the Oregotokarire (Hash with
a backdrop, Ogawa with another STO), and consequently flops backwards like a
sack of shit. This is the finish, as the Zero-One trio claim victory.
A really quite crappy main event then, but Hashimoto has to be the main event, and it is his company. Despite ending on a low-point, the show as a whole wasn’t too bad. The FMW vs. Otani and friends dispute has a great deal of promise, and delivered here, and the tag title match was fun as well, with the rest of the undercard not being particularly offensive either. Not a show to go out of your way for then, but Zero-One can still throw up some interesting looking cards. For how long is another matter altogether.
************************************************
Akira Taue vs. Big Bubba - AJPW 29/7/93
I will freely admit I only included this after the untimely death of Ray Traylor.
Mainly because it was the link to this match on the board that allowed me to
see it for the first time. Taue has a full head of hair, Bubba is in full Big
Boss Man gear despite not using said name, and Budokan is rammed.
The two work a fairly simple match, the gaijin dominates, overpowering Taue with some right hands in the early going and keeping the pressure on throughout. Pity about the chops though. An awkward barrier spot goes awry as well due to both men hanging across it in the most ungainly manner possible. Back in the ring, Bubba uses the middle-rope running charge on four occasions, and a weak Boss Man Slam, but only gets two. Taue starts his fightback, and gets the job done in rapid order with two nodowas. A short match, and with good reason, but decent for what it was. RIP Boss Man.
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