RIM - Issue No. 10 - The wrasslin' spoon??? (Un-edited - I promise) & a Lex Luger match!!!
All aboard the Lex Express.

THE WRASSLIN' SPOON by Lee 'Freebird' Flattery

Professional wrestling rules it so hard - you've just got to know what not to watch. Example: if EUROBOY is on the card, it probably sucks. That's as useful as my advice gets, I fear. Yes, if you keep your attention on the good stuff, like 80's AJW, then you will be fine. Fine like Tammy's arse in '96. Some lovely person sent me a couple of free 'surplus' Zenjo tapes that I've not watched all the way through yet. I will watch them because it's all good, girl-friend! Chigusa Nagayo, twelve years old and having a mat match wiith someone I can't identify ROCKS. Why? Because the audience is full of perverted middle-age men watching two young girls grope each other. Sleaze In Zenjo! In the eighties. Motherfuckers! Of course this is nothing compared to the unabridged greatness of Devil Masami v MONSDA RIPPAH!!! which is full of zany Harley Race style bumpery and Dick Murdock ass stompery. Anyone who thinks Devil isn't the great wrestler ever can kiss my curvy, white behind. She gets all pissed off and starts whoopin' big Bertha with a chain and the officials are too fucking pussy to do a damn thing about it. The match gets thrown out but the fight goes on until those stupid referees finally haul Rhonda the hell outta there like the cowards that they are. Wrestling I tell you - whooooooooo! I dare that Jesus freak Euroboy Styles to get in Devil Masami's face. I fucking dare him! Things get even better with Jaguar Yokota v La Galactica. You know this is going to rock when the first move of the match is Jaguar dropkicking the masked bitch in the face. Naturally I mean bitch in its purest sense here, since La Gally gives Jaguar a good bitchy kicking in the key of rudisima. As is usually the case in Yokota matches the matwork is dropdead georgeous. Damn that fucking idiot Toyota for perverting the greatness of the Jagya style with her brainless five-star yawnery. I'm so damn angry that I'm gonna talk about something else like...........MEMPHIS!!!! Yeah, I got this massive six hour comp (from some bloke that gets a lot of old tapes from America) chocked full of early 80's Memphis goodness. There is a whole bunch of stuff to go over here. Where to begin? How about Jim Cornette and his early managerial antics. Story is that he comes into Memphis as a sissy rich kid who's rich momma is subsidising his new found career as a manager. He comically tries to sign Lawler as his first wrestler. Lawler, prick that he is, comes out and humilates him in front of the Saturday morning throng a few times leading to the birth of the Cornette rant; i.e IvowrevengeonyouJerryLawlerifit'sthelastthingIdo.etc. So, Corny tries to assemble a crew of wrestlers to take on the King. Strangely enough the first wrestler that Cornette manages in Memphis in none other than our own RIM sleaze Queen, Sherri Martel, who Cornette introduces as 'a true champion...........the US Women's Champion....'. Corny then tries to worm his way into the ever delightful Dutch Mantell's corner for his upcoming title match with Lawler. Dutch plays along and 'agrees' to let Cornette be his manager. Jimmy comes out for a promo with a glossy of he and Mantell posing together, bragging to Lance about it and such. Hillariously though, Dutch makes a monkey outta young James.E, tears the picture up and tells him to get his sissy derriere outta there. The Mempho faithful pour their ridicule onto Cornette like Jake Roberts pours vodka on his cornflakes in the morning. It gets a little weird later on when 'Exotic' Adrian Street joins Cornette's stable. Lawler's in-ring parody of Mr Street's camp antics is a must see. Hey, if Memphis was the capital of tag team wrestling in America then Bobby Eaton and Koko Ware were Presidents of the United States. As a part of Jimmy Hart's First Family, Eaton and Ware ruled the Saturday studio squash match scene and delivered big time in the Colliseum. Bobby Eaton and Sweet Brown Sugar v Steve Keirn and Terry Taylor was a southern tag of bombastic proportions. The rudos put Taylor's and Keirn's stuff over early on before taking control and doing some shot kicking [(sic) Don't you watch 'The Simpsons'] of their own. Eaton has his whole early eighties Dynamite Kid meets Blue Panther in a barroom thing going on and Ware brings the swank highflying. Plenty of fistdrops too, which add about a million points to any match. Since good triumphs over evil and such, Ware misses Keirn with a chairshot, inadvertantly hits Hart on the apron and allows the beardo headwear pooper to sneak a schoolboy three-count. The Family get in a few post match cheap shots on Keirn for good measure (bad losers rule!) until Terry Taylor can get back in to rescue his partner. All this talk of Steve Keirn's beard makes me think of pornography for some reason, which makes me think of the absolutely disgraceful porno VCD's that I recently recieved from 'North of the border'. Ben Dover's 'London Call Girls' was a typically gritty watch - an image of a Belgian spitting on a woman's arsehole is completely abstract from sex. As Baudrillard said, porn is the obscene triumph of the transpolitical - y'know! The end of the secret, the dissapearance of seduction, the transparancy of everything. If there is a more likable Frenchman than Jean Baudrillard, I have yet to hear of him. That's why porn is so interesting to watch - it can be enjoyed on two levels, the immediate (which you can imagine for yourselves!) and the ironic. The ironic splendor of Ben Dover is immense. Take for example the two Yorkshire ladies that head down to Ben's studio to shoot a 'movie'. One tells the seedy, bemulleted pervert Mr Dover that she was 18 two days ago and that she goes to college. 'Fine.' remarks a bemused Ben, 'A very worthy cause. Get yourself an education. Excellent. Right let's see your knickers.'. Hillarious. 'I wont yoh ta fook mah fanneh!' begs one of the lasses as the Belgian guy gurns while inside her. Rib tickling, I tell you. Anyway, Memphis. Jimmy Hart turns the individual go-nowhereness of Rick McGraw and The Dream Machine into the peroxide blonde, tuxedo clad New York Dolls (not the band!). The bear a suspicious resemble to the orginal Fabulous Fargos, prompting the all time classic Jackie Fargo promo proclaiming the birth of The Fabulous Ones (Stan Lane and Steve Keirn). 'You stink Hart! You stink' proclaims Fargo, 'You and your......guys...with their $25 tuxedos on. My socks cost more than that, pally!'. Jimmy Hart actually cuts a great counter-promo; '....pally. I hate that word. What does it even mean anyway?'. Then the whole Fabs versus Hart's Family fued kicks off. I've also been watching some NWA title matches. Jack Brisco v Jerry Lawler from Memphis was a good enough match with a heel Lawler and a face champ. The 'leverage' holds were a bit too prolonged though - even with the clipping. Built well though, with some nice bumping and spots from both men. Jack Brisco's worked punches rule because he looks like he's actually trying to make contact with something. Dream on Coy Dangle! The King actually pins Brisco 1-2-3 and is declared NWA champion.....but the decision is reversed because Lawler used a 'foreign object'. Gerald Brisco gets a piledriver for sticking his nose in and it's all good fun. Gene Kininski v Dory Funk Jr was a hell of a match. This is the one from the late sixties where Dory wins the title for the first time. It starts off all clean and catch-as-catch-can until Gene heels it up and starts gauging eyes and punching into headlocks. Dory does the pre-Steamboat babyface 'I'm not gonna take this bullshit' thing with great aplomb and the rest of the match is mat based, heel v face stuff. Kininski fucks his back up which leads to a very cool ending. Dory clamps the spinning tow hold on, but Gene manages to kick out of it. Funk slams him on his back, which he sells like crazy, and a few moments later puts the STH on again for the win. Dory Senior gets in the ring with the new champ and it's all very touching stuff. You see that's the professional wrestling, but so is this: The Freebirds in a bar, shooting pool. Buddy Roberts is exposing the film of the 'Birds allegedly tainted title over the Von Cokeheads to light. 'Hey, there's me pinning Kerry Von Erich!' yells Buddy, pointing at a negative, 'And there's Bam Bam beating up Kevin.'. Then Hayes chips in with, 'And look - there's about 700 broads looking at me....and that was just in our dressing room.'. Michael then goes on to tell the world that Kerry Von Erich is a steroid freak and that he is as dumb as he looks. Then dinner arrives and they suggest that World Class Interview Guy help the waitress out. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! While I'm on I role here, I should talk about the lovely JWP tapes I got from PUNQ (the URL's somewhere on the board). The 9/12/01 show was a great card. There was a lot of quality on display in the match between Carlos Amano and Tsubasa Kuagaki. It was quite stiff and mat based, but with some fluid spots thrown in. Kuragaki reminds me of a cross between Kyoko and Dynamite Kansai and hopefully she'll become an excellent wrestler in time. Carlos was sound as a pound as ever - she doesn't miss a beat in the wrestling ring. They kayfabed me here too, which was nice, as I was convinced that Amano was going over until she........er, didn't. Quite a pleasant suprise that, as was Kaori Haruyama v Commando Bolshoi. I'd heard things about Bolshoi but I wasn't expecting her to be such a convincing, post-Rey Mysterio Jr babyface asskicker, and I certainly wasn't expecting to find another sleaze queen, mega post-Sherri badgirl like Haruyama. This was a great brawl all over the place, with lashings of claret and convincing portrayal of hatred. Haruyama's fat-ass legdrop is the coolest thing is wrestling, although Bolshoi's music is a close second. Ran Yu Yu v Misae Genki was an awesome little BatBatified affair. It really did have that Ishikawa-Ikeda level of absolute belligerant misery about it. While Genki may not be the best worker in the world she sure is woman enough to take a good thrashing and give some right back. Ran Yu Yu? She rules the fucking planet! This match has the most buggerfying of spots; Genki goes for a Goldberg spear on RYY. Instead of trying to move out of the way like a wuss, Yu merely lifts her knee into Genki's head at the moment of impact. It's so simple yet so evil - she must have got it from Ozaki. If you like morose beatings then I suggest you check this match out sometime soon. GAMI v Azumi Hyuga served as the main event for this show and didn't disappoint. GAMI busts out her best performance in ages and Hyuga shows her trademark pound for pound greatness. A nice contrast to last match as it was a lot showier and more trad-joshi. Just get this fucking show you fuckers!!! Best of the rest JWP wise = Carlos Amano v Azumi Hyuga 23/2/02; a damn fine match between two great technical wrestlers for the most part. Carlos does a great job of bastardly injuring Hyuga's leg only for her to ruin the match by totally disregarding the leg selling after 20+ minutes and hitting kicks for a finish out of nowhere. Shame. Ran Yu Yu v Azumi Hyuga (10/3/02) on the other hand is probably the match of 2002. They start out slowly and deliberately setting the tone on the mat, but without it being boring. It then transcends into a straight out fight, extremely attritional. There's no mindless repetition of spots like so many joshians are prone to doing in matches, everything has a purpose built towards the conclusion. Kind of like the better All Japan matches. Great match. Ran Yu Yu/Azumi Hyuga/Commando Bolshoi v Yoshiko Tamura/Misae Genki/Carlos Amano (13/10/02) was fought under Thunderqueen rules and while good was just not in the league of the original TQB. Still, there was some nice work during the intial one-on-one pairings (Hyuga v Tamura, Bolshoi v Amano, RYY v Genki) before it all turned into a bit of an elongated clusterfuck. Tamura is probably the most underrated wrestler anywhere in the world by the way. So, anyway that's what I've been watching lately - and remember; if this is anything BUT one paragraph then John K has tampered with it's visual effect, in which case my next RIM piece will be full-on James Joyce with no punctuation at all.

NJPW Battle Formation 29/4/96 by Martin Wickham

I swore that after accidentally reviewing a ton of NJPW last time around I would be more diverse this time. But then I got this from a very good Italian, and my resolve, erm, dissolved. So to a legit packed Tokyo Dome then. This tape strung together a bunch of the 1 hour TV shows, so the match order is all over the place, with the main event on the night being the second one on my tape. I'm reviewing it in tape order, rather than redoing it in event order. I'm lazy that way.

Jushin Liger vs Great Sasuke - IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title

Watching these two guys make their entrances (and any chance to hear Liger's theme music is a good thing) gives you quite a good idea of how rammed the Dome was for this show. The arena lights are up throughout, a far cry from recent Tokyo Dome shows, and the noise is deafening. Anyway, Liger is defending champ here, and Sasuke wastes no time in getting started, with the first opportunity he gets seeing him launch out onto Liger with a tope con hilo, almost breaking his own neck in the process! Clip ahoy, as we go to five minutes after the brush with insanity, and Liger controlling with groundwork. I am really surprised that Sasuke hasn't been dug out as much as others for being almost purely reliant on spots. Liger controls the body of the match here, wrestling with his brain whilst Sasuke wrestles on adrenalin and little else. At one point, Sasuke gets in a flurry, only for Liger to cut him off with an evil powerbomb, which elicited the first real reaction from the crowd short of the early dive. All the while, Liger is using those dickish mannerisms he tends to use to draw a crowd into his match, counting three with the fingers etc: Sasuke gets the upset win after a powerbomb followed by a Tiger Suplex. For some reason, I didn't like this match as much as I thought I would. Maybe it was the clipping or something, maybe it was me not being in love with Sasuke's policy of dying for the sake of dying, and being kind of crappy when it came to the stuff in-between. It kinda stumbled when it should have soared. I think the fact that my only recollection of the main body of the match was Liger's most brutal cut-off of Sasuke's offense may be trying to tell me something. Watch it and judge for yourself.

Nobuhiko Takada vs Shinya Hashimoto - IWGP Heavyweight Title

This was the main attraction of the day. Takada was an outsider (with UWFI) holding the principal NJPW title. Hashimoto was the man given the task of bringing the belt back home, so to speak. Hash had approximately 64,000 peeps behind him as well, and each one made their voice heard during his entrance. The basis of the match was the shoot-style of Takada against the pro-style of Hashimoto. Takada looking to get submissions early, before Hash started walloping him with kicks. Takada then started using more traditional methods, as he used a backdrop suplex and a boston crab. Now he was starting to take the piss a little. He also started to become more heelish, locking a Fujiwara armbar, allowing Hash to the ropes, then locking it on again after initially releasing. The crowd wasn't pleased with that, and neither was Hashimoto, as he cracked Takada the first chance he got. Hashimoto with a DDT and a brainbuster (which Takada took like a fucking KING), then he locked a triangle choke hold. Surely Takada wasn't going to tap....no....he's fighting, still fighting.....he just tapped out! The Dome erupted as Hashimoto beat the shoot master at his own game, much like Takada had tried to do earlier when he use more pro-style tactics.
The match is probably overrated by some, but it was good, and it had the big-match atmosphere to it that will always elevate it beyond what it was. The story of the two masters of their respective styles trying to beat his opponent with the other guy's own style also added a layer of intrigue to it. The end was killer, as Hash could have ended it after the DDT and brainbuster (did I mention Takada took that move like a true bad-ass?), but decided to use the triangle choke to finish the UWFI guy. Takada's handshake afterwards seemingly acknowledged this, as he saw he had truly been beaten at his own game. This was also the end of UWFI in a sense, as Takada had both won and lost the IWGP title, and most of the top UWFI guys had also been jobbed out. Takada would emerge a year later, launching PRIDE, and managing to blow his rep as a shooter in the process, because he wasn't actually, in the truest sense of the word, a shooter. Ah well.

Genichiro Tenryu vs Tatsumi Fujinami

It's Tenryu, but with no youngster to be a grumpy, cantankerous old bastard towards, this match may not be as memorable as some of his other matches. Not to worry too much though, as Fujinami comes out like a house on fire. He did a tope for fucks sake! And nearly killed himself in the progress! Then he went and did the same thing again! And would have done it again but for Tenryu's punch, a physical way of saying "slow down you old fucker." In the process of all this, The Fuje either smacked his face off the guardrail, or leant into the Tenryu punch too far, because his nose has gone all over his face, and he is PISSING blood all over the shop. It normally follows that when your opponent has broke his nose, you tend not to attack it too much, if you are working with him. This is Tenryu however, and he is a prick, in the best sense of the word. He punches, gouges and kicks Fujinami right in the fucking face, then plays up to the crowd like a badass. After all, it’s the only logical thing to do in such a situation.
Meanwhile, the ref is checking the state of Fujinami's face, a la Fujinami vs Maeda '86. There's no stoppage here though. Fujinami starts hitting back, and Tenryu cuts him off, with a punch straight on the nose, and I'm laughing, because Tenryu can still be a dour old fucker against another oldie. Fujinami starts another comeback, even getting a Dragon sleeper but Tenryu no-sells a knee drop (though it may not have made contact), and bounces back with a couple of lariats for the win.
This match was short, and the ending was a bit of a confusing anticlimax, but it was FUN. I doubt it was for Fujinami though, and he looks kind of pissed off afterwards, as he slaps Tenryu right in the face. That nose had to be killing. This match gets a billion stars, for Ten-roo's pissed off majesty alone.

The Great Muta vs Jinsei Shinzaki

I'll refrain from making the obvious upturned wok/lampshade gag about Shinzaki's headgear. The announcer keeps making lots of "WWF" mentions in his commentary, something to do with Shinzaki's run as Hakushi in Vinceland in 1995. Upon Shinzaki removing his robes after his quasi-religious ritual, he is in full Hakushi gear, with the body tattoos and everything. A Muta-lated (geddit?) version of whatever Keiji Mutoh's music was at the time hits, and Muta is wearing a robe with a snake attached, and a mask, and the commentator is practically having an orgasm over it. So it will be a battle of two Americanised kooks then, and I have little time for the lazy bugger Shinzaki, and hate most Muta matches in Japan. This could be brutal, and not in the good sense.
Turns out I was pleasantly surprised, at least about Shinzaki. I first got the feeling something wasn't right when he took a murderous bump off the apron, over the first barricade and into the gap between the first and second barricade which contained commentary tables and everything. Soon after, he pulled a massive juice job on the floor, which left puddles of blood all over the mat. When he got up, his white trousers now looked like he fell over in an abbatoir. Shinzaki had no option but to bump and blade, because there was no fucking way Muta was going to. He just wrote the Japanese for DEATH on a ceremonial piece of wood Shinzaki had brought to ringside, in Shinzaki's blood, then stabbed him with it.
After the shock of seeing Shinzaki work like a motherfucker for a bit, the match then dragged along, Muta no-selling, blowing mist and being generally crap, Shinzaki bleeding, hitting a Space Flying Tiger Drop (I think), that saw him crack his mush off the apron in the process, and tryng to work for two people. Muta won, of course, after a moonsault, then imitated Shinzaki, putting the wood on the fallen Shinzaki, and gving him last rites. Blah, blah, blah. When you are outworked by Jinsei Shinzaki, that is the time to be very worried. If I want to watch The Great Muta, I'd much rather it be 1989 and the NWA. In Japan, it seems to mean little more than walkabout brawling and mist blowing. Match quality goes down the tubes, and it sure as fuck did here. Only Shinzaki's bleeding and bumping gave this some redeeming qualities.

Masahiro Chono vs Lex Luger

Lex Luger in the Tokyo Dome. That sentence alone fucks with the natural order of things. It would be like Toshiaki Kawada working three minute WWE style crapfests on Monday nights. It just doesn't sound right at all. Luger doesn't belong here, and he doesn't want to be here. Someone must have spiked his creatine (just to keep any lawyers off my back) with Rohypnol, dumped him on a plane to Tokyo whilst he was out, and then he got told he wouldn't get his passport back until he worked this match. Still, at least Chono looked cool. To be fair though, this match didn't suck totally, it just dragged.....and dragged....you get the picture. Luger was on offense for a while, and he shouted and grunted a lot. He also executed a piledriver on the ramp. All well and good, but Stevie Wonder was in the top deck screaming about how he saw 10 inches of air between the ramp and Chono's head on 'impact'. Chono had to make sure not to punt Lex full force with Yakuza Kicks. After a lot of rest-holds on the part of Luger, Chono thought "fuck this", kicked him in the balls, before eventually slapping on an STF for the win. I think New Japan may have amped up Chono's music to cover the fact that the crowd was apathetic. Not bad, but it sure as hell wasn't good.

Randy Savage vs Hiroyoshi Tenzan

Savage vs Tenryu in 1990 absolutely fucking rocked. This did not. It was joined in progress, and I should probably be thankful. Both men are wearing gear that can only be described as two separate explosions in a paint factory. It dawns on me that Tenzan has had the same hair for coming up to seven years. I am running out of things to say that will take up space. Savage showed sparks of his greatness at points, but it was barely a flicker. Tenzan was not in a position to carry the match, and could do little but look lively. Savage won after 4 successive elbow drops, followed by an inside cradle to make sure of it. The highlight had to be a fan doing the spinning finger OOOOHHH YEEEAAHHHH!!! motion after the match. Made me chuckle anyway.

The Steiners and Scott Norton vs The Road Warriors and Power Warrior (Kensuke Sasaki)

This could be a dangerous one to get stuck in the middle of. The Warriors make their entrance to Iron Man (Daaaaaaa-Daaaaaaa-Daaa-Daaa-Daaa! Da-Da-Da-Da-Daaaaa-Duuh-Da-Da-Da!), and the match has a plus point before it even starts. Sasaki is the unlucky bastard here, as he is the person who takes all the sick Steiner suplex variations (including the head-spike German). So the Steiners kill Sasaki for a bit, then one of the Roadies tag in, and Rick and Scott turn into bump machines, as Scott goes-a-flying after a clothesline. Norton is still a useless lump of excrement, who couldn't sell ice-cubes in the Sahara though. While his tag partners are flying all over the shop, he just spuds Sasaki. For all this power fighting (uuurrrrggghhhhhh! aaaarrggggggguuurhhhhhh!!) there was one moment of pure comedy. A pre-genetic freak Scotty dragged Sasaki out to one of the side aisles. Hawk goes out to lamp Scott, charges him, and Scott just moves out of the way. The comedy comes when Hawk flys past Scott and Sasaki at about 90mph, and doesn't stop till he hits the barricades. It doesn't sound like much now, but the way Scott just moved indicated he was in no mood to play around. It was funny in the same way as Rick and Scott smashing those jobbers up on Worldwide in 1990 is. Hawk wasn't too happy afterwards though. The Warriors won after Animal used a second rope powerslam on Rick. Not a bad match to be fair. Norton sucked, but that can be taken for granted though. Otherwise, cool.

After this tape, there was also a small bit of Kollision in Korea added on. I won't bother reviewing the three matches I saw, but I will say one thing, it confirms just how awful Eric Bischoff was as a TV announcer. It was also a case of WCW patronising the little backward commie country. "The state control TV", "They don't have the top 40" etc etc: Eric also seemed to determined to bury the Japanese wrestlers for whatever reason. Perhaps it was unintentional. Whatever, Benoit vs Too Cold Scorpio was good while it lasted. I have this vision of Bischoff afterwards saying, "You mean I actually have this Benoit guy under contract? I do? And I'm doing jack-shit with him? Quick, get me on the phone to Kevin Sullivan! Whaddaya mean there's no land-lines in North Korea?" Of course, I could be completely wrong, and this conversation I have speculated on is complete bollocks.

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2003 - Some of the matches pimped already (snappy titles aren't my thing) by Martin Wickham

This are four matches that took place in the opening two months of 2003, and which have been talked about a fair bit, and pushed as possible MOTY's etc: No Angle vs Benoit however (NTL can go and jump off a cliff), or Lucha (Galavision can do likewise, and from a greater height). Without further ado then.

Low-Ki vs AJ Styles (Zero-One, 5/1)

If this match had happened in ROH, or any other US indy for that matter, I'd likely pass. But Low-Ki in Japan is a hell of a better prospect than Low-Ki on some card in front of approximately 50 fans in Butfuk, New Jersey. Ki vs Spanky in Z1 back in September was better than their indy stuff, though that may have partly due to not having to listen to Donnie B wittering on about the Code of Honor, or Steve Corino recite the phone number to order tapes from RF Video (no address to send the anthrax to though). As for AJ Styles, or Euroboy in the words of a certain Mr Flattery, as long he gets kicked frequently and hard, I don't mind him too much. They had pre-match interviews here, complete with translators. AJ being all Brian Christopher-like arrogant, with the hammed up accent, Low-Ki being.....Low-Ki. James Earl Jones anyone?
This match was more of an event, what with the playing of the national anthem beforehand, (AJ kept chewing his gum throughout the Star Spangled Banner bah God!!!!! Shocking!!! Next thing he'll be an Al Qaeda spy!!!) than any of their previous matches. As for the match itself, it was probably the most 'indy' styled performance Low-Ki has delivered in Japan. He used that bloody annoying three-kick spot where he does a lot of gurning and mat slapping, then AJ blocked the third kick and did one of his own, except it sucked. It also contained the near falls from the respective finishers that will either excite or irritate depending on what side of the fence you sit on regarding indy wrestling. It was a fairly exciting match, but it was only at a slightly higher level than any Ki/Styles indy matches, and if didn't like them, chances are you wont like this. Only Styles' cocky demeanour added something I haven't seen from him before (no, I don't watch NWA:TNA). Ki switched between his controlled Japan style, and his American style of everything including the kitchen sink, taps and all. What did make this match stand out was the crowd. The Korakuen Hall was eating this up big-time, and it was refreshing to watch this match without the usual Philadelphia ignoramuses being all wrapped up in their own self-styled importance. Hypocritical arseholes. Low Ki won after a Ki Krusher (that looked nasty) followed by the dragon sleeper/Stretch Plum hybrid thingummyjig he uses, for a submission victory.
A very good match, that like Ki/Spanky, seemed better than their previous independent outings. Again, that could be because I could watch Low Ki vs AJ Styles without the suffocation that is ROH's revisionist bullshit being put over more than the wrestlers. Low-Ki is a guy I have really started to dig recently, and that probably helped me like this more. It is still smoked by Ki vs Hoshikawa though, and also by the exchanges between Ki and Wataru Sakata the next night. Get hold of the show this match was on, and even if you don't like this, you will have to love the stuff that follows. MR OTANI!!!!!!! COLBY!!!!!!!

Kenta Kobashi and Akira Taue vs Mitsuharu Misawa and Masahiro Chono (NOAH 10/1)

Of all these matches, this one had the most 'big-match' atmosphere. The crowd were going ape throughout the entrances of all four. Kobashi may be half-crippled, but fuck it, he's still Kenta Kobashi, and that's enough. However, it still didn't make the opening sequences any better between Chono and Kobes:

Chono: "Chop me."
Kobashi: "Chop me back."
C: "And again"
K: "Your turn"
C: "Add some noise"
K: "YEEEAARGGHHHH!!! Now, follow my lead."
C: "YEEEAAAAARGGHH!!! Right, start eyeballing me and shit"
K: "Done, now push with your forehead"

2 minutes later

K: "Have to stop now, your hair bleach is rubbing off on my forehead, and getting in my eyes"
C: "Chop?"
K: "Yeah, then tag out"

This match was flat in the down periods, with short periods of explosiveness to pop the crowd. Chono executing a tope (yes it did happen), Taue doing likewise, and almost breaking his neck in the process (the coolest cock-up ever. The commentator started screaming like he had found a winning lottery ticket). Kobashi beating Chono up with the chops in the corner, Chono's Yakuza kicks etc: It came down to Kobashi vs Misawa in the end, with Chono holding off Taue outside. Misawa got near-falls of a Tiger Driver, frog splash and stuff, before Kobashi got the win a perfectly EVIL delayed brainbuster. It was all build-up for the Kobashi vs Misawa GHC Title blow-off, and only the fact that New Japan booker Chono was in the mix gave this an added something to differentiate this from the norm. That aside, this was as flat as Kate Moss at times, even the stuff involving Kobashi and Misawa. Disappointing, considering what I had hoped for. Let's hope it got better on March 1st.

Yoshinobu Kanemaru and Tsuyoshi Kikuchi vs Koji Kanemoto and Jushin Liger (NOAH 26/1)
The NOAH vs NJ juniors feud has been one which has spawned great contests and a ton of fun. Kanemaru and Kikuchi are the complete opposite of each other, yet the two came together in the name of NOAH, and snatched the IWGP Junior Heavyweight belts from Liger and Minoru Tanaka, on a NJPW show no less. After sending El Samurai and Masayuki Naruse, followed by Gedo and Jado to try and get back the belts, now Liger and NJ were in no mood for fucking around, knowing they had underestimated the unlikely team. Taking advantage of the end of the NJPW vs Team 2000 feud, The ULTIMATE team of the junior legend and the junior champion was formed. If they couldn't get them back with this team, they may as well let NOAH keep the damn things. So we have the background to this, and perhaps the final act of the feud of 2002.
Everything about this match is nigh-on PERFECT. Kikuchi is without doubt the man of this. The entire axis of this match, and the feud in general, centres on his personal fight. He got sick of listening to the guys talking about what they would have done of they were ten years younger, he went and did it. Now he did it, there is NO FUCKING WAY that he is going to give up the crown he thought he could never achieve. It shows in every little thing he does. The forearm shots have that much more snap, the moves executed with more ferocity, the willingness to endure unbelievable amounts of pain upped to the point of insanity. One headbutt to Kanemoto was delivered so hard it busted Koji up hardway. Equivalently, Kanemoto absolutely murders Kikuchi for the middle and main portion of the match, with some of the nastiest looking kicks I’ve seen him deliver. Kanemaru would never team with Kikuchi normally, such is the diametric opposites between the two in manner and method. But now he’s here, and with the old man fighting like it’s his last chance to shine, the young whippersnapper feels obliged to fight with equal amounts of heart and determination, to carry his weight. Respect doesn’t need to be spoken, actions can do the talking just as much. Kanemaru also has his own personal fight against Kanemoto, as Kikuchi has against Liger, because there is no way he is going to be outpunked by the original punk-ass bitch. In this respect, he loses out, as Kanemoto takes the chance to hurl Kanemaru off the apron every chance he gets, leaving Kikuchi two-on-one against a pair of pissed-off NJPW guys, who will take it to the next level in order to get their belts back. Liger is in “fuck you all” mode here. He kicks, stomps, bites, scrapes and generally does that great job he does of pacing a match out whilst allowing the other participants to shine in the ring. Kanemoto is at his contemptuous best, and this alone smoked every IWGP junior defence I have seen from him. Perhaps the best compliment I can give them is that their performances were the perfect way to showcase Kikuchi’s fight to extend his moment of glory, and Kanemaru’s fight to prove himself as much of a man as his senior tag partner, and as much of a prick as Kanemoto ever was. The ending was perfect. Kikuchi fought his hardest to stop himself from falling to Liger, despite a nasty Liger bomb and a top-rope fisherman’s buster. He got up, with the look on his face that said “I’m still standing bastard, it hurts, I should just fall, but I would sooner stand up and die than lay down and live.” Liger looked at him, “maybe you’ll have to lie down and die then.” A shotei was the killer. Kikuchi could take no more, just when it seemed like he could withstand Liger’s worst. The IWGP Junior heavyweight belts were back in NJPW possession three seconds later. The reaction of three NOAH guys at ringside when the three count went down said it all.
AWESOME, AWESOME, AWESOME, AND ONCE AGAIN AWESOME! Four class wrestlers on top of their game, every base needed to make a great match covered, and a final product that delivered big-time. Hopefully we can see this great feud continue through singles bouts (Kanemoto vs Kanemaru, Liger vs Kikuchi), but even then, it would have a hell of a shadow to step out of. After all the short-term hoop-la certain matches will receive, this will endure. I think we are looking at a Match of the Decade contender here. In the style of Comic Book Guy, BEST…FEUD…EVER!!!!!

CM Punk vs Chris Hero (IWA Mid-South 7/2)

What y’all wanted, a play-by-play of the 2 out of 3 falls, 90 minute time-limit clash between Punk and Hero. You fucking wish. One year on from the infamous 55 minute Tables and Ladders match, Punk and Hero do battle again, after a 1 fall 60 minute draw in December. This wasn’t going to end in a hurry. For 30 minutes the two traded holds and counter-holds, whilst the announcers gave us a comprehensive run-down of their backgrounds, followed by their history against each other. We also got a few libellous comments from Jim Fannin regarding WWE wrestlers.
The first fall of this was a joy to watch. 50 minutes of pure wrestling, no fucking about, no messing around setting up chairs and tables. Punk won it, but the finish got slightly screwed up after a Shining Wizard, which I’m assuming was supposed to hit missed, and Punk had to use a roundhouse kick with his free leg (Hero held on to his standing leg to cover it). Hey, Mutoh cocks it up after 5 minutes at times, so I’m sure Punk not getting the force needed after 53 minutes can be excused.
From here we have the basis of the remainder of this match. Hero has been unable to beat Punk in singles competition in the IWA for God knows how long. Now he has to beat him twice inside 40 minutes to win the IWA Heavyweight Title. It also means he bust out more of the big moves. Hero’s Welcome, that top-rope neck-toss (Cravate suplex) that has to hurt, the Hangman’s Clutch (modified STF). All the while, Punk is taking more offence, and still getting the chance to bust his tributes to Genichiro Tenryu and Jackie Chan in the corner. And the time keeps ticking…
We also have another basis for the rest of this. The two have gone beyond an hour, and are now stepping it up big-time. Quite simply, with the duration of the falls, any move could win the next fall at any time. When Punk kicks out of the Hero’s Welcome after 60 minutes of action, it means Punk must be fucking superhuman, because there are some mortals who fall to the move after 20-25 minutes. It also means that Hero may not be able to beat Punk at all, because even with his attacks being more hard-hitting, he STILL can’t beat his rival, or make him tap to the Hangman’s. When he does eventually pin the champ, he has to use Punk’s own Pepsi Plunge to get the dukes, because his own weren’t able to do the trick earlier. 1 apiece, but has Hero given himself enough time to get the second, if he even gets it at all?
The third fall is nuclear. Both guys want to beat each other decisively, and go all out, despite over an hour of destroying each other. Hero busts out his tribute to guys like Toshiaki Kawada, and does it the way Low-Ki wishes he could. Punk tries to hang in there. Both guys are getting hot near-falls through-out, the crowd are going ape despite it probably being around 2am where they were, and Dave Prazak is gradually going nuts, and starts doubting the legitimacy of an Athol Oakley vs Ciclon Negro 90 minute draw in perhaps the funniest monologue in wrestling commentary history. We get double pins, with both guys too tired to lift a shoulder. The match continues, Prazak keeps rambling, then the time limit expires. But because this the AHHH-DUBYAH-AYYY, Ian Rotten bullets out to grab the mic, and we are in a sudden death situation. The two go all out again, as a bunch of other wrestlers head to ringside to see the finish. Hero then locked the Hangman’s again, and pulled Punk’s arm so he couldn’t grab the ropes. Punk tapped out after 92 minutes and whatnot, Hero beat him for the first time in a singles match, and got the IWA Title in the process. The other guys entered the ring afterwards.
You all need this match. It has something for everyone. The slow burn of the first fall, the gathering pace of the second, followed by the breakneck pace of the decider(s). If I wanted to be really critical I could focus on a few shortcomings with Punk, but for fucks sake, THE GUY WRESTLED FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF! HOW DO YOU SLAG A GUY FOR THAT? A great match, the best I’ve seen of both men, especially Hero. All independent workers should pull out matches like this, regardless of time-limit. North American MOTY already

Toryumon TV Block #9 Review by David Pick / Pick's Tapes

Well, this is the first time I've ever used notes to do a review. I enjoyed this a whole lot more than just watching the action as I was looking deeper into it and thus, enjoying it more - expect more reviews in the future!

1. CIMA, SUWA & Don Fuji vs. Masaaki Mochizuki, Dragon Kid & Tiger Mask IV

Awesomely fast paced match here. CIMA and Tiger Mask have some amazing exchanges near the start which makes me beg for a singles match between the pair (if their has been one I haven't seen it!). Dragon Kid hit his second rope to outside Quebrada early on which got a good pop from the crowd, he does a lot of stuff then which he doesn't do now for some or other reason. Crazy Max play the bastardly heels ripping at Tiger Mask's mask and making Dragon Kid into their bitch giving him face first bump after face first bump. CIMA gets a two with the ICONoclasm on Masaaki before the finishing sequence which saw chaos ensue but Dragon Kid pin SUWA with a Dragonrana! This would be amazing if you only watched WWE/F all your life, it was still amazing to
see everything hit so crisply after all the spotfests I watched! Awesome match which told the basic story of the heels dominating with babyface comeback. ***

2. CIMA, TARU & Don Fuji vs. Genki Horiguchi, Tiger Mask IV & Dragon Kid

Slower match here until Tiger Mask hits a plancha which prompts Dragon Kid to do his outside Quebrada and Genki to hit the swandive tope con hilo! The match seemed to be clipped but CIMA got a nearfall on Dragon Kid with an ICONoclasm, but Dragon came out and hit a perfect Ultrarana on CIMA. Genki managed to make Fuji submit with the GH Lock. Seemed a lot shorter than the previous match but still nothing to shrug your shoulders at. **1/4

3. SUWA/Makoto/CIMA/TARU & Don Fuji vs. Dragon Kid, Tiger Mask IV, Ryo Saito, SAITO & Genki Horiguchi

This was a real slow match for the guys involved, clipped heavily also...would've liked to see a lot more of this one. Genk, Ryo and Tiger Mask all hit planchas and Dragon done his Quebrada again. Ryo hit a German Suplex on CIMA for a very heated nearfall, but CIMA came back with the ICONoclasm and Mad Splash for the pin. Judging from what I saw it could've been much higher but clipped... **

4. Susumu Mochizuki & Kanda vs. Masaaki Mochizuki & Kobe

This was different for me. I'm used to the broken down Kanda...I was stunned when I saw him being plain, full out awesome in this! He hit the nicest uranage EVER on Masaaki, who also deserves credit for folding up on it like he hit...looked insane. Kanda and
Susumu used a bunch of cool double teams including this reverse powerbomb roll into sitout powerbomb...this turned out to be one of their regular moves. This all continued until Masaaki snapped and hit Kanda with the BLUE BOX OF DOOM~! That gets Kanda and Susumu the win via DQ. Fun match. **3/4

5. CIMA & Don Fuji vs. Susumu Mochizuki & Kanda

The story here seemed to be that Fuji was the weak link and he had to rely on CIMA being there or desperation tactics. Started off with two future M2Kers dominating Kanda until CIMA tags in. CIMA hit a dropkick to the corner on Kanda which must've made Lyger smile. Fuji gets a little offence in on Kanda when CIMA tags in. Before CIMA leaves he hit the charging double knees in
the corner. Of course, Fuji is dominated again when CIMA leaves. Kanda comes off top but Fuji catches him with a chokeslam for a near fall. On the outside Kanda went for a tope suicide but Fuji pulled a chair into his face (ala Jericho vs. Benoit). Kanda and
Susumu dominate CIMA with double teams once more. Finish sees Fuji throw a chair at Susumu who is on the top rope which
gives CIMA time to recover and knock Susumu down. He then nails Kanda with the ICONoclasm and then back up for a cross armed ICONoclasm and then the Mad Splash. Well worked match here. Good story to it and everyone played their parts. ***Afterwards angle sees Crazy Max wrap Susumu and Kanda in the bottom ring rope before Masaaki Mochizuki hits the ring and clears house! Could this be a new relationship blossoming here? You betcha...

6. Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Kanda

Oh so, oh so short. In fact, it's a total squash as Masaaki dominates Kanda with stretches such as variations of the camel clutch and arm bars before making Kanda submit to a cross armbreaker. *Post match angle sees Susumu Mochizuki, Masaaki Mochizuki and Kanda in the back with Masaaki wearing a jacket the others love - this must be where M2K started!Overall, awesome show there - if this is what older Toryumon shows are like, then I'm picking more up. Only criticism I have is the amount of studio work they had but that's standard in most independant lucharesu feds..

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